Retreat Hesitation to Transformation

In my experience, intentions manifest. Not always the way I expect them to. But, the ones that come from the heart and soul happen. When I lean into the signs and messengers that come along to lead me to my dreams, they unfold. This story is so dear to my heart right now and it exemplifies what I have just said.

In November of 2025 I came across something I hadn’t seen or thought about in over a decade, but that had a huge impact on my life. Something that may in and of itself have set the course of the last two decades. It was an activity that a dear client of mine (who has since passed on) shared with me almost 20 years prior. Red Scott was a person who left the kind of impression on me that lasts for a lifetime. Little parts of his soul integrated with mine before he left the earth. I aim to be someone that leaves pieces of myself with people forever like he did, just by being truly and authentically myself. Because that’s who he was. He was Red. Otherwise known as Charles Scott.

What I came across this past Novemeber was something I made back in 2010.

On an otherwise typical Wednesday afternoon, Red invited my partner and I at the time to the La Jolla Country Club. Red was 82 years old. I remember because I was 28 and we delighted in being inverse ages that year. He was born in 1928 and I in 1982. He sat the two of us at a table on opposite sides from one another and handed us each a packet of paper, all different colors. He asked us to keep our eyes on our own papers and to never show anyone what we were about to write. Which still gives me chills. We shared everything with each other. So, this felt extra important. Sacred. Then, Red told us a story about a train trip he took all by himself, called the Bobo Trip. It is where this activity was born from. I will leave that story for another time, but share this one.

Red was a wealthy and successful business leader. Private jet and multiple home sort of money. But, he wasn’t always that way. As a child, he would sit in his underwear while his mother stitched the one pair of pants he owned. There was no telephone or radio in their one room home. Red didn’t just become rich in finances though. He was abundant in family relationships, friendships and heart. The kind of person that made you feel like a best friend every time he greeted you. Red used to tell me, “if you think you are lucky, then you are!” I whole heartedly believe this. And to this day when I find a penny, I always smile and think of him.

So, my partner and I sat down at an otherwise ordinary, round, wooden country club table and Red guided us through four pages of activities. Simple, yet powerful. Red guided hundreds, maybe thousands of people through these pages. They were something he created for himself, to fuel his own success in life - cultivated from his Bobo Train Trip.

When we were finished, Red had us fold the papers twice, inwards, the way you do an important letter, seal them in an envelope and mail them to ourselves.

A week later, when I received my papers, there was one more activity to complete. So I did and that was that.

Finding these papers this past November, almost exactly 20 years later filled my eyes with tears and had me sitting in Red’s spirit more potently than usual for the remainder of the day. Reading stories about him online. Remembering all the conversations , meals and walks we shared. A 28 year old and an 82 year old. Paired together for a reason. Seeing what I wrote back then and how my life had unfolded accordingly was not surprising, but affirming. It was exciting. And also, the things I wrote that hadn’t happened. Those made sense too.

Part of me feels silly that I didn’t work with this activity every year during the past couple decades, but the other part is grateful to have had so much time passed and see what unfolded. Literally.

I folded the papers back into three sections and placed them into their envelope.

And then, I did what anyone might do in this situation. I completed the 2025 version of the activity. I took a Bobo Train Trip.

One thing I wrote during the activity was to spend time with my friend, Lola, who resides in California. I wasn’t completely sure why that of all the things arose, but it would become clear very in just a couple months. In the meantime I kept working with the visions that came to me the previous summer. To bring sleep and circadian rhythm education into my community, to work with restorative motion clients and host a group restorative motion class and series of anatomy workshops locally. At the time I was actively resisting taking on too many contract jobs with larger companies and traveling for work like I had done in the past. I was craving local community. Local business. Sharing my gifts right here in Bozeman as much as possible even though I had built a fantastic online business and community over the years.

Come January of 2026, I got two related messages on the same day.

One was to write a Sleep Course for a Fitness Education company. Exciting, but once again me selling myself at a discount so a larger company could make money. The other was an invitation to teach about Sleep and Circadian Rhythm for a weekend Reset & Renew retreat led by one of my favorite yoga teachers, Molly, in Montana. Now THIS was what I had been seeking. Local. Community. And, a retreat. Something that sounds lovely, but intimidates a person who has been through chronic fatigue and weakened immune system health issues. Sleeping elsewhere has come at a cost for me over the past five years.

I didn’t know it yet, but at that same exact time, Lola was in the process of creating her first retreat after a two year hiatus. Lola has led over 50 retreats during the past decade and had slipped away for a few years to attend to hew own personal matters. I had observed her work over the years and craved a retreat with her, but it wasn’t just never the right time for me.

So, I began writing and filming the curriculum for the sleep course, from the comfort of my home. No travel required. I was exited and nervous about the Montana retreat I would teach at, but trusting that the vision of what to share would unfold in time.

Soon enough, Lola came online once again. Just showed up in my Instagram feed and email inbox one day. She was sharing about her next retreat. It was the weekend after Molly’s Reset & Renew retreat. It didn’t make sense at the time to me to go on two retreats back to back. I had never attended an orchestrated retreat in my life and now, two? I both kept one eye on and avoided Lola’s invitations to Sedona, AZ - a retreat for Audacious Women.

Until one day, I could not deny my curiosity any longer and decided to apply for a room. Just to see. Not to commit.

After our phone call, attending did not make any more sense to me than it had before. My husband was going away on the days in between the two retreats. But, not during them. The financial cost was uncomfortable. But, my body wanted this. And there was Red. The list. Lola. Plus, I was turning 44 years old during the Sedona retreat. I hadn’t thrown a big part for my 40th and 44 felt more special anyhow. The double numbers always tickle me. What more affirmation did I need? I had to trust the signs. I didn’t know exactly why, but I had to go on both of these retreats. So, I sent in my deposit a few days after that phone call.

And then I questioned myself for weeks.

But, with time - I began to understand why I had been aligned with these two opportunities. I didn’t want to lead retreats. Well, I did, but I didn’t. I have had a dream for almost a decade about opening a sleep retreat center. But, it would be my own. A Bed & Breakfast kind of place. Not a weekend or week out of town. A landing pad of my own. Hosting Air BnB guests before we had children was something I adored. In fact, we considered purchasing a property that was a B & B in South Cottonwood before the kids were born.

So, I went on the retreats. Knowing I would probably just return to my life afterward. Planning my Anatomy weekend workshop, scheduling online classes for my community abroad. Working with clients.

Well, let me tell you the universe knows best. As I mentioned in the beginning, when I set an intention, it happens. Not the way I imagined, but it happens. And if I can’t take a clue then that’s on me.

When I returned home from Lola’s retreat, which was the second of the two - my very own retreat began planning itself. Just flowing out of me into a spreadsheet, onto paper. I identified several housing options. Made a meal plan. Reached out to guest teachers. It came with ease. As things do when they are aligned.

It could have been because I finally got a vacation that I didn’t need a vacation from (which is part of the intention with my upcoming retreat!). It may have been because Molly and Lola are both incredible leaders. But, there was plenty of room to feel intimidated and not enough around leaders like them. Yet, they are the type of women who pull you up with them, not push you down.

Going into the retreats I felt that hosting my own retreat would be too much work, too overwhelming. Too much to take on.

Coming out, I was completely ready. I am completely ready to share something exceptional with the world (of exactly 5 women).

Sharing what happened during those retreats is not something that I could describe simply as incredible writing activities, meditations, excursions in nature, dance parties, meals and sisterhood. But the feeling of the rooms I was part of, I cannot explain it. The experience. It is beyond words. There is something special about carving time for yourself to be away with other incredible women (who I had never met before other than the leaders) in a container that is orchestrated for sisterhood. It is so different than a vacation, a series of therapy sessions or a dinner out with friends. There is intention and magic that stays within the retreat space and can never be explained to the outside world.

We need more of this in the world. Women need this. If you are still here reading, then I already know that you are ready. You are curious and you could join me in 2027 when I welcome 5 women on a Restorative Rhythms Retreat right here in Montana. At a gorgeous mountain home. With five very special, creative, big-hearted women who desire a deep rest and reset - Bev style. Each with her own room. Each with the opportunity to rewire mind, body and spirit rhythms in a handful of magical, meaningful and science based ways.

What is unfolding is divine, just coming through me. I am so so grateful and excited for those of you that will get to and choose to join me. To join yourself. You will meet yourself in a way that is beyond words.

If you are called and curious, you can get on the waitlist to apply for this retreat and I will be in touch with you. One thing I want to be sure of, is that this retreat resonates for you and that you are aligned with this experience. Because it will be five exceptional women, connecting with each other and themselves, the safety and comfort of the container is everything. Who attends matters. As Lola says, “no energy vampires allowed”.